Saturday, 18 August 2012

A thousand Ys...But Why?...


Natalie opened her eyes to a window through which the sun’s rays were crawling in on her saying that it was way past waking time. It was the day she promised Bran that she will take him to the baseball match. But due to the approaching storm that is building over the sea they have called the match off, fixing a reschedule in another city. Being a widow and raising a son has it difficulties she thought. 

With a high salaried job as Asst marketing manager to one of the biggest corporations in the US, she could find many suitors. She would have married for the sake of Bran but every time she went on a date, she could only find a shadow of Dominic in them, the man who had her heart once. He went to war and never returned. Even two hearts couldn’t save him it seemed.

The cancellation of the match wasn’t the only consequence of the storm. The company was making a move on one deal which now has to be closed earlier in fear that the client won’t be able leave the city if the storm comes in. The meeting is scheduled in a private jet taking the client back to their place . And She was suppose to be on that plane in an hour or so. It wasn't difficult to make that even-though she was late to wake up. She has already made all arrangement except one.


 She wasn't able to find a babysitter for Bran.The usual options had vanished due to the approaching storm,people who are single have the luxury to run toward safety at the first sign of trouble. They can always settle back in seeking another apartment for rent or another part time job. they are free. Ah how i wish i could do the same... but i have responsibilities, promises made and promises to safeguard. 

After trying an array of numbers on her cell, she decided 8 years is old enough to be left home alone for 2 or 3 hours,because that's all its going to take to fly to next city and fly back.Even though she loathes to leave her son alone when storm is approaching she decided it was the only option. She has already instructed Bran about what to do, where to hide,if in case... And also she has already stacked the freezer with his favorite food, and bought him a new video game to play...That is not enough, she knows but that's all she could do!!! and pray that its enough to keep him safe.

She quickly got ready. After instructing Bran one more round about what to do and what not to do, she kissed him and hugged him and said "I love you". Bran gave her his wide smile and kissed her back saying "i love you too mamma". They kept on waving to each other till she reached the car. With a final wave back to her son she took the car out of the driveway. when she adjusted the rear view mirror to reflect the window by which Bran was standing, she could feel tears running down her cheeks....and deep in her heart as well.
* * * * *
The meeting was delayed to start by the fact that client joined them late.The delay was further enhanced by the rush at the airport. The people was fleeing the city for the safety of near by towns or summer houses.Once commenced,it again dragged on for more than an hour.finally the jet reached the next airport and the legal formalities of the deal was done.She was free to go. After an exchange of pleasantries, she parted with her colleagues.They will continue on for an overnight party too but she has to get back to Bran.

 She moved to reservation counter to confirm her ticket. The airport was crowded with people. She looked at her watch.It was already 5 hours since she left Bran.Her heart yearned for her son.she tried to reach her son by phone but she couldn't.somehow the line wouldn't connect.When she reached the ticket-counter the final blow and revelation came.

The Storm had already pitched the mainland and the communication is jeopardized ,so is the airline services.All the planes to the city is canceled due to visibility problems.Her only consolation was that the Storm has taken a deviation and has left the interiors pretty much untouched.That meant their home was safe and untouched,that Bran don't have a clue to the devastation that has wreaked just miles from where he is,unless of-course if he watched news. A 8 year old watching news when he has his favorite video game brought to him just yesterday.That put a smile to her face despite her dilemma.She was happy that her son is safe and also not terrified by the storm roaming in their vicinity.She thanked God for that.

She was able to get a compensatory flight to the terminal nearest to her city.From there she might probably be able to reach home by land. But soon other worries started to get hold of her. The fact that he knows not of the storm also means that he will panic if she don't reach him before dark. and that made her run over to the nearest bus terminal for a ride back home the moment  she landed in the airport.

* * * * *
She was startled when she heard that.There was no buses to the city.She realize that the visibility issue and damaged roads has played her again.Not to mention the heavy fog.Only resolve left was to get a private ride back to city. A taxi would serve, but no one would come for that much distance and in such a weather.Finally she found an exception, a 'rent a car' agent whom she would like to picture as a humanitarian who understood her problem and was compassionate about it,even-though his eyes lit up at the words 'thrice the fair'. But the compassionate fellow was not ready to risk his neck. So he suggested that she take the car and drive herself to home. 

So she set out alone into the fog with just the road ahead visible by the headlight. But once the stubbornness was washed away by loneliness and invisibility of road, fear crept in and slowly the tears. She thought back on everything she had endured in her life.Her struggles,her despair,her loses...
it was like the fate was always playing some cruel game with her.New fears overwhelmed her....what if the news is wrong and the storm has passed through her town as well...what if Bran is....NO...no...he fine she told herself....But more deeper she moved into the white mist more she felt lost.Despite the urge to reach her son, all her past life and everything she had faced made her to slam on the brakes.She stared at sky and cried aloud "WHY?....haven't you had enough..".

Desperately she started the car again and continued to move along the road.All the way to home she asked God a thousand questions that searched answers for several 'Whys'. But finally that road ended at her home.In the driveway she saw another car. Her heart raced, has something happened to her son.she rushed to the door and started to pound on it.After a few heavy knocks the door was opened by Bran himself screaming "mama". She kissed her son several times before she could notice the man sitting on couch.He rose up when her gaze fell on him.

His name was Joseph he told.He was the parish priest.he had called all houses in the parish to offer solace in such troubled times.So when Bran picked up and told mommy has not come, he came over to make sure everything is ok.

When he smiled and invited her to come to church often , she saw her answers.She could here a voice in her heart, "when you are tired come to me,I will take care of you". She understood that God has not left her alone to take care of Bran. Without her knowing He had appointed others too.

When you have done everything you can,and still if you feel its not enough.If you feel you don't have the skill or resources for a task, any task.Do your best and leave the rest for God.Because he knows what you can and cannot.And He has acted even before you had started to worry.So have faith.


The Tricolour Nation

Under a saffron sky does my nation rest
After a day's labour at sunset
After all the hard work and sacrifice
for freedom, Ask yourself, does this day's work suffice.

66 years have we celebrated independence
But still we wave flags and struggle in penance 
Would this be Our India, if we had strived
for progress instead of getting starved.

Under the whites of snow caped glaciers
In undying vigil stand our soldiers
But we lets ourselves loot and plunder
A nation that was the world’s wonder

What does it takes to ask why
When you know everything is a lie
We say we don’t care
But all of us aspire

In green pastures of our nation 
We forgets our troubles and tension
We see our hope for future
And the will to celebrate despite our worries.

Because Mine is a Nation forged from Blood
We accept all that is good
Sworn to peace and to people
And we build all what we are from rubble

Sunday, 13 May 2012

A Call.....


It was a Sunday evening. I had just watched a movie. Inspirational.... my thoughts were in motion. Like a raging sea stirred by the wind. I started to think to myself ...about the world, about what we are..What we can do...etc etc ..You know the usual bullshit. But there was no one to talk to...so I picked up my mobile and went to its contact book, searching for names that would enjoy such a conversations….

The phone started to ring on the other side.It was picked up by a familiar voice spiced by surprise...Well, he should be,I usually don't make phone calls unless absolutely necessary.."Helloooooo..." the voice said.I replied by a shorter version."Hello".

"Hmm....It  has been long since u called.."he complained.

"If you had missed me ...hey news for you ..mobiles work both ways.." I striked back..
 I heard small smile at the other end..

"So what now ...Anything special...."
"Well ..I just finished a movie ...It was inspirational ..so I just thought I will do some complaining about the world and order of things in the world couldn't find a mike and podium..so I thought of calling you...u interested in hearing it..."

"Shoot it out ...always good to hear you..."

And so it went... I talked about all the stuff that came to mind he replied in same manner..till my mobile's money exhausted. Then he called back and we exhausted his bill too..We accomplished nothing, but something felt good.

I thing that is what friendship is all about. A group of people where you can talk any nonsense ..who will hear you out. Even though it's stupid .But if don’t have someone to talk freely ..Then all this thoughts will eat you up..

Thanks Friends ..For tolerating me…J